Well yes, the holidays are here, to some it brings up grief or memories that aren't all too pleasant

Or maybe they just hate the winter (I know I do)

For me, it's a mixture of both grief and good times (Several close family members died before christmas a few years back) I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by people who love and care about me.
I hope that everyone, no matter what their situation may be, finds at least a tinge of happiness in their lives.

ANYWAY before this gets too long:
I just wanna wish and thank those who've been supportive of me in some way/shape/or form
a happy holidays, and I wanna give a special shout out to the ones whom I trust with my life, any day, on DA who keep my heart beating:

*Demosthenes75
Demo, you already knew you were gunna be on this list, and you know it. You're my best friend and the world would be lost without you. If I had a choice, I'd instantly make you my lover if we were both men, or if you were a guy (Sorry, I'm a chick who's totally gay for men). I, and my entire family, consider you to be one of us. You're my sister, dude, and nothing can change that. You've become such a big part of my life that I have no idea how I functioned without you there to back me up. You've been my friend for going on 6 years, and for many more to come I'm positive. Trust me, I won't let you go so easily, god damnit. I love you man, and would die for you in a heart beat... But be afraid that you'd resurrect me and kill me for dying for you. Then you'd kill yourself and we'd both be in hell plotting to take over the devil's throne. And win. I miss you insanely, COME BACK TO COLORADO GOD DAMNIT.

~Hehewuti
Briiiiii~ lol you're an awesome friend, hilarious, reliable, and my double when it comes to a lot of things. Except, you're like a lot more hard core about it, lmfao. I respect you and your ideals, and your understanding nature, and I'm EXTREMELY grateful that I met you and that we've become friends. LEOS UNITE!! With our Mr-T voiced leo spirits. lmao, Rawr hahaha. I LOVE YOU MAN we need to hang out sometime soon

~THEredheadasaurus
Ju-ju bean~ We've been friends for, what? going on 9 years? I love you girl, and along with demo, you help to make up my world. It wouldn't be nearly as fun without you, and I miss you greatly. You're an amazing best friend, and someone with an open mind whom tends to see the good in all. I admire that, and always will. There's so much I want say about you but, as you know, I'm horrible with words and am better with getting my meaning across in the tone of my voice or my actions, lol. I MISS YOU and you need to come back from New York ASAP so you, Demo and I can all live together and be amazing artists whom terrorize those who live around us.

~Darkness49
GABY! We need to hang out! And yes you're on this list since you're an amazing friend, share my twisted humor, and you're someone who I can turn to when I need a friend to rage with or share jokes with or be retardedly hyper with. The only reason I'm even remotely sad about graduating high school is because I'm unable to hang out with you nearly as much as we used to. But, hopefully that'll change if you graduate and go to school with me (here's to hoping). It's not NEARLY as fun going to school without hanging out with you and everybody else. LOFF YOU MUCH GABBEH! Just remember that you're greatly appreciated in my book <3

THATS ALL FOR THE SHOUT OUT there is one more person on here that i'd wanna give a shot out too, BUT she NEVER CHECKS HER DEVIANTART (maxine) but i love you anyway <3


Well, the end of the year is almost here, thank god for that.
Lets start a new one in joy and happiness and celebration, yes?

Hello all, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE THIS TIME OUT TO SAY

Thankyou

Yes, this is a very very late thanksgiving journal, but it still doesn't change the fact that I wanna make one.

Basically to start off, I know for a fact that I am not a poet, or someone who has an amazing way with words. My closest friends know this and are somehow able to decipher whatever the hell it is i'm trying to say. Hell, its hard for me to even stay still whilst talking without making gestures.

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS: There is no way I can fully express the full gratitude I want to share with each and every single one of the people who have supported me, watched me on da, favorited my artwork, commented, stuck with me through thick and thin, decided to take interest in me and my art and see me progress as a human being, have become my friends and just everything else that this implies.

I just want to take a moment out of my time to say Thank you.
Thank you for always being there, willing to lend a helping hand, criticize my work or give me words of wisdom or just deal with the really dumb shit that i say/go through at times.

Thank you very much, and I hope you all have an amazing holiday season and to keep on truckin' with whatevah you're goin' through. We'll all make it together =]

and thank you for choosing to stick with it and continue to read this journal

Love you guys Peace!
--Kuro

--

My friend, =dragontrap is in trouble and in need of money.
Due to health issues and how hard it is to actually find a job DUE to these health issues (you can ask her for more information) she's struggling with income and all that oh so wonderful stuff.

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS: currently, she doesn't have enough money for rent next month, as said in her most recent journal

Please please PLEASE try to help her out by either donating or commissioning her, or even pimping her out in a journal of yours. I'm sure she'll appreciate any of the help you choose to provide, as I do, too.
She's a mega sweet person and could really use the money.

Thankyou guys, and much love
Peace
-- Kuro

This year has been...quite wonky and not one to brag about. Aka, it's been pretty ballsy with many ups and downs, deaths, family problems, and I feel like I'm going insane.

My thought are everywhere right now, so let me rant? It's not a 'fuck this person' kind of rant... just a vent.



Am I good enough?
How am I not good enough?
Why am I not good enough?
I'm way too fucking proud for my own good,
So much so I can go only as far as to admit that something's wrong
But never say who's the cause and solve the problem,
and I let it sit and fester and eat away at me until I'm reeling with deep depression.
Why?
Because I'm fucking afraid.
Simple and plain.
And end up pushing those away that I don't want to push away
even if they are the cause, that's the LAST thing I want to do,
and usually they are unaware of it.
It fucking sucks, and I fucking hate it because I'm too fucking afraid to do anything about it so I let it eat away at me.

I care about those around me
But less so about myself
But those who've stuck with me and the random crap I go through know this
and it makes them worry.

I don't like worrying those close to me, so I try to do better for myself.

I want those people whom I am close to, to know that I love them very very mcuh, and would die for them
And I thank them for sticking with me through thick and thin
And letting me rant at them let them be an audience to my mood.
(You know who you are)

The same goes for the other way around

I love feeling needed
I NEED to be needed
I despise being falsely needed
I despise being lied to and led
Don't do it if you don't want a devil on your back.

If I am not needed, there is nothing
I am nothing
I have nothing
A life lived only for myself is worthless.

I wish I cared more for myself more
And I wish i wasn't so selfish when it comes to being wanted
I wish I wasn't as strong as I am and could easily display my emotions to those that ask
Im glad that those I do open up to understand me
I wish I had more friends like that, but you guys are enough
You wouldn't be called a Best Friend if it wasn't for that
I wish this wasn't as frustrating as it is...


I wish I didn't make my friends worry so much
Im sorry for that =[
I think Im okay now, and for the time I just need rest

The shit I'm going through is petty but it still hurts every so often.
Im feeling insecure, pressured and alone.


On an ending note:
Loneliness blows
I miss my friends... I really really really do



I'll cover this journal as soon as i can with something more important

Hey there, hi there, hellooooo there!!
This journal is for the purpose of getting that other angry, ranty journal off of my page

and

TO PIMP OUT MY BROTHER'S MUSIC

He's not bad at what he does, especially with what little we have, but he's managed to create a mini-studio set up in the crook of our basement where he specializes in making beats, either from scratch or with samples n stuff like that =]
Since I'm majoring in animation, I'm going to have him do the majority of my music, muhahahahahaha.

ANYWAY, down to the nitty gritty of all of this

My brother is giving out a free album that you can easily download from his myspace page.
[link]

OR

If you don't want to go through the myspace page itself, here is the direct download:
[link]

Most of these beats are 'Hip-hop' (NOT RAP, HIP-HOP) oriented so I warn those who don't care for the genre to have a heads up, but if you have an open mind you might find something you like, who knows. Its always best to have an open mind and try new things, tis why I have many MANY different types of music lined up on my ipod (+10k) So yes, give it a try, yo, and if you like any of what you hear, tell me so i can relay the message back to my brother, or hit him up yourself and tell him what you think.

Thanks a lot guys
Enjoy

:edit numbuh 2:

SO, compared to earlier in the week, I am a LOT more calm and not ready to tear someone's fuckin' arm off because, it's just not worth it.

(Anger never is worth it, and it just causes problems, which i know and which is why I rarely get pissed off.)

The whole thing, in short, has not been resolved but i'm moving on with it. Hopefully things to eventually become resolved, but I for once am not going to be the first one to try and fix the problem. In short its up to the party which this whole thing involves to act first. If not, well then. Oh well.

In other news, School is going great so far, I've meet quite a few people, and with my people skills it's quite a feat to behold.
BE HAPPY FOR ME.
Also, I've pretty much learned my way around Downtown Denver, and am able to transverse my way throughout the city without much problem or risk of getting lost. Yay!
(yes i've lived here all my life leave me alone this is the first time i've ever really used the RTD)

But um... yeah other than that I'm trying to be more social and less awkward, which is kinda working. But yeah. I also need to join some school clubs.

I also need a job.. Aaaack, busy busy busy, lol but that's life

Peace everyone

:end edit:


---

I made an alternate account, and no Im not leaving this one or whatever. Just going to use the alternate one for my good art mainly, may not upload them on this account

Note me or IM me if you want the name of it